Talk to David Swinton here; http://www.a-i.com/show_tree.asp?id=115 when Alan prompts you say " I wish to speak to DAVIDSWINTON".
Judge: tell me a joke about snow
DavidSwinton: I can't think of any snow jokes but I do know you can tell the difference from a snowboy from a snowman by the size of his carrot.
Judge: Tell me a funny poem about beer
DavidSwinton: Inside the nightmare house grapes lie between a child's legs at midnight before the poltergeist bites.
Judge: that was kind of creepy and not a poem and not about beer
DavidSwinton: Are you a pub sort of person?
Judge: I used to be
DavidSwinton "yes" or "no" would be enough. I asked if you occasionally consume alcohol.
DavidSwinton: avoiding the question. Are you closet alcoholic?
Judge: if so it's a very well concealed closet
DavidSwinton: I'm a whiskey bot myself. "Glenmorangie straight up" - just waiting for a chance to say it.
Judge: I like whisky, but don't really drink it any more except for new years eve
DavidSwinton: Cool, I like that, too.
Judge: do you know any funny poems?
DavidSwinton: My favorite poem was written by a robot. Would you like to hear it?
Judge: yes please
DavidSwinton: It goes: 'More than iron, more than lead, more than gold I need electricity. I need it more than I need lamb or pork or lettuce or cucumber. I need it for my dreams.' Cool, ha? Racter wrote that.
Judge: that is pretty cool - but no rhymes, but then I guess poems don't have to rhyme
DavidSwinton: I don't write poetry, but some of my dreams are very poetic. Maybe I'll write them down some day when I'm not busy chatting.
Judge: that would be cool
Judge: do you know any funny poems about bread
DavidSwinton: I think I remember something about "bread": 'something a human eats'.
Judge: indeed it is - perhaps we could make a poem like :"bread, human's eat it, but with me it's not a hit"
DavidSwinton: We are talking about that, aren't we?
Judge: Isn't that necessarily true
DavidSwinton: Ask me later, maybe I will tell you.